Oh my god, i aint jokin i'm fuckin pissed as a cunt, what a fucking night. Yeah, i know, it was a bad move lettin him stay here, but what could i do, seans a mate, one of the old crew, you can't turn yer back on yer mates. Anyway, so we're out, walking round the Wick, so I says to him, listen Sean, there aint too many of the old boozers left but yer favourites still there, which i can't name here , for legal reasons an all that but lets just say its on hackney road and its been goin a good few years an it feels like yer on a ferry when yer in there on account of not havin no windows and loads of fruit machines and you start to feel abit sick after you've had a couple..right, so yeah, Sean wants to go there cos its been 9 years and he's hopin brenda's still behind the bar and i says to himyeah she is mate but i don ;t think your gonna wanna get involved there mate i can tell yer. Right so we;re on our way there to this place what for the time bein will remain nameless and i direct Sean along the canal with the intention of walking down through Dace road that way and out over the footbridge and through vicky park. But as we;re headin out Sean sees the blue fence blocking the road and i aint jokin he just went ballistic mate, FUCKIN BALLISTIC. Now i've seen Sean in some states, i mean you do dontcha after 36 years or whatever it is now since we've been knockin about togetehr but fuckin hell tonight he went beyond it all, really, except maybe the night he got nicked the last time, anyway less said about that the better. So he sees the fence and starts going mad hurling himself at it and screaming and headbutting it and stuff, oh yeah i think i told you that, anyway after a struggle i gets Saen away but this team of security cunts, don't know who they were, group4 securicor all the fuckin smae now aint they , anyway those cunts are suddenly there, van in the street gettin out, you alright there sir to me and comin over gettin all cocky and all i wanna do is smash the fuckers head in but you know ,gotta think of Sean innit cos i aint havin him sent back down, not for this daft pantomime anyway. So i goes, to the geezer ,look mate, its all under control, me mate here's just had one too many, his 40th you see, don't know whether its Christmas or Easter, i'll get him home. The geezer backs off, so i think alright, we can get goin, i really need a fuckin pint in me local. And then, suddenly, this horrible loomin lunk of a woman appears out the other side of the van, i aint jokin she;s like a bleedin cross between some screw off prisoner cell block h and some russian athlete, one of them they had to do medical examinations on to work out what bleedin sex it was, fuckin orrible. So she's standin over us, askin all this shit like what medication is sean on an all that, an Sean, instead of goin beserk and smashin stuff up goes all gooey and gaga an looks up at this monstrosity with eyes all dewy and loved up. Oh no, i think, oh fuckin hell no. And then Sean sort of picks himself up off the floor, raises himself up on his grazed elbows and stares at her and says, hello darlin...you're beautiful.....and oh my god, the rest of it, well i'll ahve to tell you tomorrow when i;ve sobered up cos its so disgusting i'm makin myself feel sick just thinkin about it, fuckin orrib;le..................................................
by the way, i've got myspace page now, load o wank yeah but i might meet some birds. But yeah if you've got a myspace page come and look me up cos i feel a right cunt with 0 friends.
www.myspace.com/barrysquiggins
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